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Premier League: Spurs Struggle, United Stunned, Promoted Clubs Shine
New season, same chaos. Spurs already in a tailspin, Manchester United tripping over the first hurdle, and the promoted clubs refusing to play along with the script. Strap in.
Premier League: Spurs rattled, United stunned, Everton lifted
Tottenham’s fanbase woke up still smarting from yesterday’s beating at Brentford, and the verdict from the inbox is brutal. One email from Alastair Hagger cut straight to the bone: “Spurs = Utter shambles.” No centre-forward, no steel in midfield, centre-backs who don’t want to head the ball, and a raw goalkeeper behind them. Roberto De Zerbi’s post-match line that his side “weren’t ready for the start of the season” only twisted the knife. Brentford looked perfectly ready.
The numbers back up the mood. One reader pointed out that Spurs conceded 3.96 xG, their second-worst defensive figure in 14 years of tracking the stat. Only that 3-6 collapse against Liverpool in 2024 was worse. On day one, Ange Postecoglou’s side already look like they’ve got massive work to do at the back.
Manchester United fared no better in terms of results, even if the analytics brigade are offering a sliver of comfort. Hull City, back in the Premier League and apparently not interested in easing themselves in, stormed Old Trafford and left with a 2-0 win. Michael Carrick’s response? A plea for calm. Week one and the manager is already telling everyone not to panic. That sound you can hear is every United fan doing exactly that.
The xG crowd weighed in here too. One email noted that United “won” their game 1.8 to 1.3 on expected goals, unlucky in theory, while Tottenham were hammered 4.0 to 0.5. On that basis, Spurs’ problems look deeper, but neither giant has much to shout about this morning.
Everton, though, finally gave their supporters something to enjoy. With Andy Burnham in the stands watching his beloved club, they saw off Crystal Palace 2-0. A fun little detail: Burnham is seven years younger than David Moyes, a smaller gap than many might guess, and the sort of pairing you could easily imagine sharing a cabinet table as much as a directors’ box.
Promoted sides punch up: Hull, Ipswich, Leeds make noise
The newcomers refused to be intimidated. Hull City delivered the shock of the weekend with that 2-0 win over Manchester United, a statement that their return to the top flight will not be a polite cameo.
Ipswich joined in the party with late drama of their own. A 90th-minute winner gave the Tractor Boys victory over Sunderland on their Premier League return. A perfect start and the kind of finish that will have Portman Road believing this league might just suit them.
Sam Cunningham’s report from Ipswich also highlighted the unlikely rise of Emersonn. His numbers before arriving in England hardly screamed “Premier League saviour”: no goals in 13 games and a serious knee injury at Athletico Paranaense, two in 17 at Goztepe, six in 28 at Toulouse. Yet Ipswich’s recruitment team saw something. Yesterday, that faith looked inspired.
Leeds rounded off a strong weekend for the promoted clubs by snatching a 1-0 win away to Forest, with Anton Stach providing the late twist. On opening weekend, the new boys didn’t just survive. They dictated the late drama.
Lincoln, meanwhile, tasted defeat on their return to the second tier for the first time since 1961, but Aaron Bower reported a club high on spirit despite the result. The scoreline didn’t reflect the mood. The sense of occasion did.
QPR hold firm, Championship chaos and a clean sheet to savour
Down in the Championship, the round-up delivered its usual blend of grit and absurdity. West Brom and Burnley were set to kick off the day’s action, but the standout note was a line that would make any long-suffering QPR fan blink twice: QPR 0-0 Bolton. A clean sheet for the R’s. In front of a full house. Somewhere, someone is framing that sentence.
Leeds’ late winner at Forest added to the opening-weekend drama, while Lincoln’s step back into the second tier came wrapped in nostalgia more than points. The pattern, though, was clear: tight games, late swings, and newly promoted sides refusing to be passengers.
Today’s fixtures: Isak’s return and City’s Rodri riddle
Attention now turns to today’s Premier League slate:
- Brighton v Aston Villa (2pm)
- Manchester City v Bournemouth (2pm)
- Newcastle v Liverpool (4.30pm)
Aston Villa begin their campaign away at Brighton, with plenty of intrigue around how Unai Emery reshapes a side that has been aggressively retooled. Risk is everywhere in their summer, but risk is also how you move from good to dangerous.
At the Etihad, the question is simple and enormous: how do you replace Rodri? New Manchester City manager Enzo Maresca walks into a dressing room used to control, dominance and a midfield anchor who rarely missed a beat. Now he has to redraw the map. City fans – and plenty of neutrals – are already debating what that looks like, who steps up, and whether the champions can keep strangling games without their metronome.
Newcastle v Liverpool is the headline act. A 4.30pm kick-off on Tyneside, a raucous St James’ Park, and Alexander Isak back in front of the home crowd against a Liverpool side trying to redefine themselves in the post-Jürgen Klopp era. As opening weekends go, it’s a heavyweight clash with subplots everywhere.
Barcelona and PSG are also in action as the major European leagues crank into gear, but the Premier League, as ever, hogs the spotlight.
Possession, Pep and a shifting landscape
One theme already bubbling away: what happens to the Premier League’s style in a post-Pep world? Phil Grey emailed in with a striking nugget – all five teams that won yesterday had less of the ball than their opponents. The ball, it seems, isn’t everything.
QPR fans know that feeling. One supporter pointed out that Rangers won 16 games last season and had under 50% possession in every single one. As long as they didn’t have the ball, they were fine. It’s a stat that would have been unthinkable in the early years of Guardiola’s reign. Now it might be the direction of travel.
The numbers back up the sense that control is being redefined. United “won” on xG and lost on the pitch. Spurs were battered both in the scoreline and the data. Teams with less possession, more punch, and a plan in transition are thriving. If Pep’s era was about hoarding the ball, the next one might be about what you do in the few seconds after you win it.
Football, politics and a cabinet of managers
Away from the pitch, the day’s other obsession is gloriously unserious: building the perfect political cabinet made up solely of football managers.
Suggestions have poured in. Jurgen Klopp as Prime Minister, with Kevin Keegan “prominent” in the set-up. King Kenny Dalglish for PM with “no counter-argument” tolerated. Arsène Wenger leading the country, Unai Emery handling the money as Chancellor of the Exchequer, Pep Guardiola sent out as Foreign Secretary, Carlo Ancelotti at the Home Office, Mikel Arteta in charge of Defence, and José Mourinho as Leader of the Opposition, ready to throw grenades across the despatch box.
One reader went rogue and handed Duncan Ferguson the role of Foreign Secretary. Big Dunc on the world stage. Imagine the first meeting with Donald Trump.
There were more left-field calls too. Eddie Howe as Chancellor on the basis of Newcastle spending £200m on Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon. Neil Warnock as Prime Minister with Clint Hill as his chancellor. A cabinet meeting featuring Andy Burnham and David Moyes wouldn’t be short on opinions either.
It’s daft, of course. But it also says something about how people see these managers: leaders, strategists, fire-fighters, idealists, pragmatists. The same qualities that win titles, or get you relegated, are being mapped onto Downing Street for fun.
The day ahead
So this is where we stand. Spurs reeling. United embarrassed. Promoted sides emboldened. Everton breathing again. QPR celebrating a clean sheet as if it were silverware. And a Premier League already teasing a shift away from possession as king.
Brighton v Villa will tell us plenty about Emery’s gamble. City v Bournemouth will offer the first clues as to how Maresca intends to fill the Rodri-shaped hole. And Newcastle v Liverpool, with Isak back at the heart of it all, could set the tone for the top-four race before August is even out.
If this is the opening act, what on earth does the rest of the season have in store?
